4 Ways to Guard Your Heart Online

Perhaps your Facebook feed looked like mine during Hurricane Harvey: a constantly updating flow of information about available help, passable streets, and restaurants serving hot meals. In other words, useful.

Or perhaps your social media feeds are more typically lists of clickbait headlines, aired grievances, and photos from people you haven’t connected with meaningfully in ages. These posts proved not so useful.

In either case, taking care to guard our hearts can help protect us against the more detrimental effects of social media, allowing us to maximize its utility as a tool for connecting with others.

Recognizing the predictable, measurable nature of social media can help us set protective boundaries for our mental health’s sake.

Headlines denounce the negative impacts of social media, especially for youth. Though these platforms claim to connect us, high social media use correlates with feelings of isolation. Bullying and scams conducted online can lead to depression. And unintended consequences follow disclosing personal and financial information online.

But these platforms are not wholly negative. I was surprised to learn that social media have helped some people with limited real-world contacts fight loneliness, even before COVID reshaped our face-to-face routines. Social media use correlates with greater civic engagement and can help some people compensate for interpersonal limitations. In spite of the junk to wade through, social media can be effective at times—like during Hurricane Harvey.

When it’s not so useful

On the other hand, social platforms can be compared to a well-designed memory care facility. They’re full of halls and pathways that make us feel as if we are free to wander but secure enough that we are unable to actually leave the grounds. These apps are created to be addictive in the same way as slot machines, with irregular “rewards” (likes, comments, shares, and other interactions with our posts) interrupting the passive scrolling that comprises a large part of our online experience. The sporadic nature of these rewards serves as the secure perimeter keeping us returning for more.

These apps are created to be addictive in the same way as slot machines

Researchers have studied the patterns of how we use social media to better understand their individual and communal effects. I don’t think we need a graduate-level understanding of these patterns to avoid harm. But recognizing the predictable, measurable nature of social media can help us set protective boundaries for our mental health’s sake.

As is often the case, what we gain from social media greatly depends on what we put into it. I know a few people who have decided that the benefits were not worth it and have opted out entirely, especially after facing anxiety related to their online profiles. 

If you’d like to keep an online presence, the following tips can help you figure out your healthy balance:

1. Check in:

Do you set New Year’s resolutions or use birthdays and other milestones as a time for self-reflection? Do you have an accountability partner? You can easily incorporate a self-check into these moments to ensure your social media usage hasn’t veered off course and is still of service to you.

Consider if you’re spending more time online than you would like and if that online time is emotionally draining. 

  1. Are you making unfavorable comparisons of yourself with others, especially regarding appearance and outward achievements? 

  2. Are you staying up too late at night scrolling through your cell phone, or do you stay in bed too long in the morning doing the same?  

  3. How do you physically feel when you are actively online? 

These questions are not exhaustive, but your answers can communicate whether it is time to adjust some of your virtual habits. It’s especially important for pastors to avoid bad social media habits.

2. Find healthy substitutes:

Investing time in our offline activities provides a natural limit to the amount of time we are available online. Since the last several years hampered our ability to connect in person, we may need to be more intentional about things like getting together with friends than we realize. If you’d like to avoid a crowded environment, the UBA office has plenty of space, comfortable chairs, and snacks available to you.

Time away from your device could also be a good time to invest in a hobby. The demands on a pastor are endless, but the truth is that you cannot afford not to pursue bucket-filling passions. 

Even solitary pursuits have built-in community you can tap into whenever you need support or simply crave connection. I attended an author talk last year and ended up standing in line for two hours with other space enthusiasts waiting to get our books signed. I had an awesome time chatting with the strangers next to me—despite the fact that I’m the definition of an introvert. The camaraderie helped the evening pass quickly and is a memorable highlight of my year. Along those lines, limiting your social media activities to message boards about a few select interests might be a useful boundary.

3. Use protective settings:

We don’t want to live in a bubble, but sometimes we need to protect ourselves by limiting our exposure to certain things. It is easier to control what information we share online versus what we receive, but each platform has its own tools to help shape your algorithm, the mysterious math that determines what exactly you see when you log in. 

Maintaining proper settings can be an ongoing effort, but using available options reminds us that social media reflects a fractured sliver of a worldview, not the complete picture.

4. Take care of your physical health:

By setting healthy boundaries and managing our overall health, we improve our odds of guarding our minds and hearts.

When busy, we can easily neglect the fact that the body is a system, with physical and mental health going hand-in-hand. Prioritizing the basics—like getting a good night’s rest and regular exercise—is a first line of defense against the ways stress and anxiety manifest physically. 

I recently experienced this truth when a couple of creative solutions to a challenge I was facing popped into my head while I was out on a jog. Like working a knot out of a muscle, that exercise session led to a gratifying moment of prayerful surrender I would have missed out on had I not made the choice to step away from the internet for a while and get moving.

Final Thoughts from Scripture

When in doubt, Philippians 4:8 serves as a good guide for us: 

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” (ESV) 

This verse is a good basic guideline for structuring how to approach social media. By setting healthy boundaries and utilizing an array of offline strategies to manage our overall health, we improve our odds of guarding our minds and hearts.

Briana Perea is UBA’s Administrative Assistant. Her primary areas of responsibility include assistance in financial and personnel matters and general assistance in data management and church records. Briana is fluent in both English and Spanish.

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